I left my favourite hat at my sister's house way back in November, but instead of posting it to me, I said "don't worry, bring it to Ma's at Christmas." She forgot to bring it, and has subsequently forgotten to post it to me, so my bonce has been left to survive these most wintry months in my Emergency Hat. The problem is that my Emergency Hat is bright red and makes me look like a gnome:
...especially when I wear it with my red raincoat (seen here). It's also the kind of shape that makes me look like my name should be Myra and I should be pushing a shopping trolley full of tin cans and cats around, do you know what I mean?
So, I decided to make myself a new hat. I have been meaning to get better at crochet for months, and so I thought I'd crochet myself a hat - surely that's a nice easy project to get my teeth into? Well, I found a nice vintage pattern in one of my books, had the right size hook and yarn already, and set to work. To cut a long story short: some time and several expletives later, I gave up. I just can't seem to get my head around crochet! I kept losing my place and losing count, and it wasn't looking anything like hat-shaped, so I thought bugger it, I'll just knit myself a hat. I know how to knit. I trust knitting. So I rummaged through my collection of books, magazines, and random patterns, and found what looked like a simple cabled hat - it was in the Quick Knits section of a magazine, what could go wrong? It wasn't the exact shape I wanted, but I thought it would be good cabling practice, and in the meantime I was bloody freezing and needed a damned hat, so I set to work.
Now, some might call me a quitter, while others might appreciate the value of knowing your own limits, but after only about a couple of centimetres into this pattern...I gave up. It was taking forever and I really wasn't that enthusiastic about the end product, so I knew I wouldn't enjoy the process. Don't judge me. But ARGH!! By this time (about teatime on a freezing cold Sunday) I was getting rather cross with myself - "I just want to make myself a hat!" So I calmly went on to Ravelry, found myself a nice free pattern for a nice slouchy hat, which all the other knitters said was nice and easy and shouldn't take too long, and began a third attempt. They were right: it was quick, and it was easy, but oh, my patient readers, I'm afraid this Tale of Three Hats does not exactly have a happy ending...
Yes, it is a hat. A rather nice hat, I think you'll agree, but here's the problem:
I have a massive head. Maximus Big Bonce. See how my new hat perches atop my giant noggin, trying but not quite managing to cover my ears (OK I know you can't see my ears but you know where they are)? And it is far from slouchy. Here it is from the front:
I know, it doesn't look that bad, it's just not what I wanted! And it's certainly not going to keep me warm, so, the quest for a new hat pattern commences. Actually, I am planning to make a scarf for a friend's birthday at the end of February, so I will start that next to make sure it's done in plenty of time. At the recommendation of one of the ladies in my knitting group, I will be making Miss Elle's lovely lacey scarf - it only uses one ball of Rowan Kidsilk Haze, a most beautiful and usually most expensive yarn, but rather wallet-friendly in this case. I haven't picked which colour yet, but I shall go to Wool (my local knitting shop) on Saturday and give them all a squeeze, to see what grabs me. Hopefully I will have more success with the scarf than with my hats!